I speak fairly openly about my Bipolar 1 diagnosis. It is, in large part, the reason my work is so inconsistent. There are times that depression takes away my will to write, and there seems to be no solution except to wait it out. Since finding an appropriate combination of medications, these episodes have evened out a good bit, but our main goal is to control the manic episodes so that the depressive episodes never happen. It usually works.
It has been quite some time since I have had a full, intense episode of depression or of mania, but I do experience more gentle swings. Lately, I have been struggling with my sleep, and it has resulted in more hypomanic episodes. They’re not necessarily a problem, as they help me to get more writing done (and more of everything else!), but they always come with a fear of what may be lingering around the corner.
Usually, it’s just stress. I have been stressed out instead of depressed and I can handle that. But there is always a thought in the back of my mind that maybe this time, this might be the plummet.
So, I embrace my hypomanic episodes, I use them for the endless motivation they bring, and I brace for impact.
Stay tuned for more “Behind the Poem” entries throughout the month of April, and if you want a sneak peek at tomorrow’s poem, check my Patreon. (It’s free!)
Happy reading,
Sibyl